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Embracing a Long Distance Relationship

Updated: Sep 1, 2023

Long distance relationships can be hard. Quoting the Dalai Lama,

Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

This could not be truer than for a long distance relationship. Your use of non-physical expression will be higher in this case. If you are in a long distance relationship, here is what you can do.




Messaging

The obvious option in the modern age is to message your partner using an instant messaging program like Facebook Messenger.


The trick is not to annoy your partner or date by bombarding them with messages when they are busy. As a rough guide, message them at least daily and more importantly, seldom send more than 2 to 3 messages where you are still waiting for a response. Consider matching the time they take to respond so they do not feel pressured. Be sensitive to how they are and what they are doing. Very often, you will be able to get a feel for what kind of messaging frequency they like depending on the situation.


Not only can you write text and use emoticons, you can use animated GIF's from platforms such as GIPHY and Tenor. The possibility of expression from animated GIF's is much greater than from just text and emoticons. Here is a cute, somewhat humorous one from GIPHY:


If you sign up to one of the GIF provider platforms, some of them go surprisingly... far if you turn down or turn off the content filter! Don't be afraid to try the more romantic ones as the relationship deepens but be sensitive to how they respond, even asking what they think.



Express Your Dreams

Since you cannot be physically intimate, another avenue is mentally intimate. Dreams are a deep reflection of your personality and sharing them can be romantic, especially if the dream is about them. After all, if you are dreaming about them and you tell them, it expresses to your partner just how much they mean to you.




Images, Videos and Sound Recordings

Going a bit further than messaging, you can send them photos, videos and sound recordings of yourself and what you are doing. Gauge what they like by asking for their opinion and don't be afraid of a 'no I don't like it' - you are learning what they like. Also remember this can change over time, so keep asking.


You can even use programs like Photoshop, GIMP (GNU Image Manipulation Program), iMovie etc to create 'special effects' photos and videos where you are together. This is where you can really use your imagination! It is surprisingly easy for one of you to use a blue or green screen and place into a scene with the other. Again, gauge what they like but don't be afraid to ask/try intimacy. If you are really keen to try special effects movies, I would personally recommend a Mac computer with iMovie though I may be a bit biased.


You can do effects like this in a photo editing program.

You can even make videos like this using iMovie (I have, and I'm not showing you them! 😁) This one is from Tenor.


If your content is intimate in a 'non-family-friendly' way, it almost goes without saying to be careful not to share with others. Password lock your phone, computer and - often overlooked - backup hard disks.


If you want to do something relatively quick or you want to express and abstract concept or feeling, AI generated images may be your best bet. However, it can be difficult to incorporate images of yourself or your partner into them.


Yes - believe it or not, this image is AI generated

Video Calls

Besides physically meeting your partner, this is probably the closest you can get. Relax and have fun! The best thing about video calls is you get instant feedback via body language. Strongly recommended. Again, gauge what they want by asking/trying and - yes - see how far they would like to take it in a sensitive manner.


If your partner speaks another language as their first language, I would highly recommend learning their language.




Meditate Together

Asking/telling someone to meditate is a personal request. Fortunately, it can be entirely appropriate to ask your partner or even date if they would like to meditate with you. Ask how they feel about it and be careful not to pressure them. It can be daunting to expect them to go to an online class or group so exercise even more caution.


Meditating with them via video call is ideal, but I have even had success meditating with my partner via text message and simple pictures.


The energy you can share with your partner in meditation can be most fulfilling, speaking from personal experience.




Handwritten Letters

Handwriting and posting a letter is more personal than messaging on a phone. You can even include cute stickers, glitter, perfume etc. Be careful about sending plants like flowers as countries like Australia have strict quarantine.




Gifts

Sending gifts is another great way to express love. You can find out from them or from one of their family members or friends what they would like. It may be easier and more cost effective to send them something within their own country, but it can also be nice to send them something unique to your country. Plush toys are often a good choice.




I hope this was useful. It is great to meet your partner in person but if you can't, by expressing yourself in different ways you can continue to grow the passion, love and connection between you and your partner.


Thanks to Canva's Text to Image generator for the AI generated images.

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